Book Review: Stuck in the Middle With You by Jennifer Finney Boylan

Stuck in the Middle with You: A Memoir of Parenting in Three Genders by Jennifer Finney Boylan
Publisher: Broadway Books
Paperback Release Date: April 22, 2014
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Stuck in the Middle With You is Jennifer Finney Boylan’s memoir on what her experience was parenting her two boys as a male, while going through transition to a female and then as a female. She has a previous memoir, She’s Not There, that is the detailed story of her life as a transgender person and her transition to female. Since she has that previous book, details on that are not discussed in this book.

Jenny really doesn’t have all that much to say about her parenting experience because it appears her two sons didn’t have much of a problem with her transition and don’t have any trouble with their peer group because of it. I’m sure that their experience is exceptional, most likely because they were quite young when she transitioned. Her younger son doesn’t even have a clear memory of when she was a man.

Also included in this book – probably to fill it out – is interviews with some of Jenny’s friends about their unique experiences either as a parent or a child. And she has some well-known friends! Richard Russo, Augusten Burroughs and Edward Albee are among the interviewees. I really enjoyed the interviews. It was interesting to read how different people’s experiences can be. For instance, two of the interviewees were adopted. One felt disconnected from his adoptive parents and called them “those people” while the other one felt just as close to his as if they were his biological parents.

What I am really interested in is Jenny’s relationship with her wife Deedie, who is heterosexual. It’s clear they have no physical relationship as Jenny writes about an occasion she wanted to kiss Deedie but Deedie said no. I’m not sure what Jenny’s sexual orientation is. She briefly considers having sex with a man who tries to pick her up in a bar. I’d love to hear Deedie’s side of the story and about what it’s like to stay in a non-physical marriage for 25 years. Perhaps that’s addressed more in Jenny’s first book.

I liked this book but since Jenny’s transition went pretty smoothly as far as her parenting goes, there wasn’t much meat to it. It was still very interesting, especially the interviews. I think it’s always good to read about people who have vastly different experiences than you. There’s always something to learn from them.

(I received this book courtesy of the publisher.)