You’ll Put Your Eye Out

I loathe school fundraisers. At the boys’ elementary school, they launch the fundraiser with a school wide assembly where they convince the kids that they actually COULD sell 80 tubs of cookie dough and win an MP3 player. The boys always come home super excited. (And Cash can’t even eat the cookie dough they sell because he’s allergic to peanuts and it’s all processed in the same plant as peanuts.)

Usually I just donate money instead of turning the boys into pint-sized door-to-door salesmen. This year, I decided that I would buy one tub of cookie from each boy so they could earn this spinner on a stick thing that they really wanted. So they came home with their spinner things and within about ten minutes West had spun his right into his eye. He cried for quite a while after it happened. He has a crazy high pain tolerance so if he cries like that then it really hurt. I took him into urgent care and it turned out he had a scratch on his cornea which required a couple days of drops in his eye.

My mom happened to be visiting when this whole thing happened. While we were waiting for the doctor, I was joking with her about who I should sue for this incident: the PTA for having the fundraiser, the cookie dough people for giving the spinner things out as a prize, the company that makes the spinner things or the school district. The boys overheard and wanted to know all about how this lawsuit thing works. Now whenever any little thing doesn’t go their way, they threaten to sue or tell me that I should sue – and they are not joking.

Of course nearly putting his eye out is not enough to discourage West from playing with something. He just made sure he took the proper safety precautions the next time he played with it: